Apology or Defence?

“That’s not a proper apology! You’re just justifying yourself!”

It’s very likely that you have said those words to someone else and had them said to you too. I know I have.

What I find interesting, in a quirky kind of way, not seriously interesting, is that both “saying you are sorry and meaning it” and “justifying yourself”(or another, or an idea) are meanings that the word “apology” convey.

Around 155 AD or CE (take your pick) a man who came to be known as Justin Martyr wrote his first apology. This was a defence of Christians and Christianity, to the Roman authorities which were persecuting some Christians at the time. This defence meaning is the original meaning of apology I believe (sorry if I’m wrong about that) so it’s quite funny I think, to recall times when I’ve told someone off for defending themselves because “that’s not a proper apology!”



Fundamentals: Day One

The primary purpose of this blog is to allow me to get things off my mind, so that I will not start ruminating. For me it is therapeutic.

The secondary aim is for me to practise writing in a disciplined way. I know I can write essays and should be able to write articles, but I am very rusty. I would like to write short story fiction and some poetry as well. Hopefully, as I progress we shall see all these genres represented here.

I gave myself a few days to settle in and write fairly regularly before I started the Word Press familiarisations and courses. Now I am confident in moving forwards I shall blog these exercises every day, circumstances permitting.

Crisis, what Crisis?

I know from some previous study of koine Greek that the New Testament is written in that the word ‘crisis’ comes from the koine Greek for ‘decision’.

Reading some of the blogs for today I was informed that the Chinese for crisis contains the added element of opportunity. This reminds of a dialogue between Varys and Petyr Baelish, two of my favourite characters from Game of Thrones. Varys speaks with fear for the realm because of the chaos of war, comparing the crisis to a pit that will bury everyone. Baelish responds with: “Chaos isn’t a pit. Chaos is a ladder!”

I decided to check out the dictionary before writing my post for anything I may have missed.

I found this gem.

Words that rhyme with crisis.


Oh! The feckin' irony!


Rewinding the Clock

Having discovered that time travel would be possible in a machine which could isolate him from gravity, Michael had built it and was now ready for his first test drive.
He checked the clock, it read 13:15 and the date was displayed as 24 July 2016. “Ten years” he muttered to himself. “That should do it.” He’d bought the apartment twelve years ago and had been the sole occupant, there would be no problems with other people when he materialised in 2006.

He set the controls to exactly ten years in the past. Nervously, he pressed the start button.

Michael found himself asphyxiating in the cold dark space which the Earth would not occupy for ten very long years.



“Life is a journey”

I find it it hard to accept that life is a journey, unless life is bigger than the one life we tend to expect in the West. It’s not much of a journey for too many people especially those whose lives are cruelly cut short.

I find the negative belief of reincarnation mainly found in the East to be hard to accept too. The one where the ultimate aim is to stop reincarnating because it is just an endless weary cycle of differing lives does not appeal to me at all.

I was raised in an atheist or agnostic household but had an adult conversion to Christianity when aged 18. I was introduced to conservative evangelicalism and really did think I had found the Truth. I look back now with some regret because I was ignorant of theological issues at a time when they couldn’t be looked up on the Internet.

Today I have come a long way in my thinking and beliefs. I even think reincarnation may well be true and I may have experienced memories of past lives in dreams and past life drama therapy. Unlike the Eastern version though, I do not believe reincarnation is about living endless lives on a spinning wheel.

I believe those lives are a journey. This life just one stage.

Is the UK leaving Europe?

Sometimes you may hear or read that the UK is leaving Europe. We are not. Europe is a continent which the UK is part of. I am British English in Nationality and also European because Europe is a continent.

The false idea that the EU is Europe is put about by those who are pro-EU. Please understand that this is propaganda by those who wish to use words as they want to use them. To equate the EU with Europe is to insult the Swiss, the Norwegians and the Russians who live in Europe, including those who live in Moscow.

EU stands for European Union. The EU is a political project. It is not a continent as Europe is. The UK has voted to leave a political project which seeks to standardise so many things in the name of trade, which do not really need standardising. The EU project is a bureaucracy which delights in producing red tape for nations to tie themselves up in.

The UK is leaving the EU project.

The UK is not leaving Europe as we cannot find a a saw big enough to sever our islands from the mainland.

The UK is not taking an isolationist stance as some accuse us of. We are taking a globalist trade stance. We are open to trade with the world and have people migrate to us from the world, as long as they qualify to live here according to the needs we have. Being part of the EU limited our scope, made us ‘parochial’, we are now reaching out to the world.

We’re getting a new Prime Minister!

Over the weeked I told my partner and my Dad that I thought that Andrea Leadsom would not last the week, as her start of her campaign was so bad that I thought it obvious that she did not have what it takes (at least not yet) to be a Prime Minister for the UK. We are at a  crossroads politically right now because we have decided to leave the European Union and it will take at least two years to do so. Theresa May will be the Prime Minister to steer us onwards, and I am glad of this.

Should’ve gone to Specsavers

I went to Specsavers for an annual eye check and diabetic retinopathy screening today. Last year, after going to Specsavers for a number of years, I went to a different opticians because I was a bit fed up with the service at Specsavers. However, I went back there this time because although the service was better elsewhere, the spectacles I have had this year were not as good quality.

I was pleasantly surprised that Specsavers had improved a lot with their customer service. I got the impression that they had been training their staff during my abscence in customer care. One thing that really stood out was the way they went out of their way to explain exactly what they were about to do during the tests very clearly.

Specsavers for me from now on..

Welcome to my blog


I’m Christina, a woman in her early 50s with Bipolar Disorder. I have started this blog as a way to dump ideas and issues going round my brain so that I do not ruminate about them. It’s meant as a creative outlet. I am not an artist who can express my thoughts and emotions through drawing or painting, but I may have the creative ability to write well about current affairs, UK politics, bipolar disorder, spiritual and philosophical ideas.

At this time of writing we have two women contesting for the leadership of the Conservative Party, here in the UK. Theresa May and Andrea Leadsom represent the centre ground and centre right of the Conservative Party, respectively. At first I was in favour of Andrea Leadsom winning because I liked the way she presented her arguments during the EU Referendum Campaign. I have been pro leaving the EU for a few years now because I believe membership results in citizens being robbed of their democratic right to sack their political leaders. Whether immigration goes up or down is not the point of the argument, as many believe. The point is that the UK Government should be able to control numbers, whether big or small according to need.

Jeremy Corbyn, the leader of the Labour Party has argued that the problem does not lie with numbers of immigrants, but with the Conservative Government cutting services as part of their austerity policy. While I have sympathy with his argument I view it as simplistic. For Government to plan its spending to accommodate future needs of a changing population, it needs to be able to control numbers of people coming in. Financial projections need to be made for local government to provide services for the people they serve, but if they have no idea of how many people they will be serving, how can they with any accuracy?

I changed my mind about Andrea Leadsom because her inexperience has shown to me that she won’t be able to do a good job as Prime Minister, especially at this time where the UK has to negotiate trade deals while leaving the EU. Although Theresa May was on the Remain side of the EU debate, she has stated that she will carry on with the task of taking us out of the EU. Leading Conservatives on the Brexit side: David Davis, Liam Fox, Chris Graying, Priti Patel and James Cleverly have backed Theresa May, so I rest assured she will keep her word.

On a personal note, I feel better having typed these thoughts here.